My attempt at growing up…

I’m not one to make new years resolutions. Personally I think it’s a cop out. Why do you need to wait for the New Year to make a promise to yourself? Just start now. This year however I’m breaking my own code. I’m making a resolution… (drum roll please)

My resolution for 2013 is: Not to make any plans.

IMG_2802No I haven’t been taking happy pills or smoking the whacky weed, and my blogging absence isn’t because I’d run off with the flower hugging children of the past generations.

The simple reason for my resolution is, when I make plans they turn to sh*t. Pessimistic? Perhaps… or maybe it’s just fact. When I say my plans turn to sh*t, it’s nothing disastrous it just wasn’t what I had planned.

Some people may say that this is actually life. Perhaps but why make a plan and be continuously disappointed when they don’t turn out? Why not forget about the plan and just enjoy the ride. (Nope still no happy pills)

So why the change now?

A few months back I got a rather serious lecture from my brother (the first in history I might add) about growing up and sorting my life out. When was I going to get some responsibility and stability in my life and start acting my age? Yikes… For 32 years of my life he’s made no comments, now… wham… He must be serious. I’d better sit up and take note.

Well bro you’ll be pleased to know for the first time in my life I actually listened to you!!  This is my attempt at growing up and getting responsible!! I’m not going to go buy a house or save money for nothing and I’m not getting on a plane to the other side of the world (for now). But am going to take life as it comes. How can I say that not making a plan is responsible?

A close few of you will know that when I returned from holidaying in Canada I decided I wanted to go back and live there for a few years. Yes I was going to put my career ‘on hold’ and go gallivanting off around the globe again. (Now insert said lecture from brother here).

Prior to Canada I left a job I loved because of a new boss I hated. Hate’s a strong word (and one I’ve probably not used since I was bullied by Katrina C***hill at primary school). Never in my life have I come across one person that had the ability to make my life such a misery. The constant insults and continuous criticizing made me start to doubt my own abilities. It was a toxic environment that couldn’t have a happy ending.

IMG_4185Insert escape-ist holiday to Canada. Whilst hiking up a mountain in Banff with some new found friends ( we talked about our shared love of travelling and taking life by the horns and doing what makes you happy. (Nope still no happy pills or whacky weed). Halfway up the mountain we witnessed a medivac and came across the distressed hiker whose buddy had just been airlifted out. Turned out he’d suffered a seizure. He had an inoperable brain tumour and despite doctors orders was making the most of what time he had left.

So you experience something like this and you can’t help but want to embrace life yourself. You only have one of them. So I forged a plan… I was going to return to oz, work for a few months, save some dosh and head back to Canada and live in the mountains. I was going to work my ass off writing and hopefully get a few things published, meet a husband and life would just turn out…

cloudsThen suddenly the fluffy white cloud you’re sitting on dissappears and you come catapulting back to the real world. There are bills to pay, stuff to organise and then you can’t get a job (over qualified, under qualified or my favourite – we thought it just wasn’t right for you) and you realise that yet another plan you made has turned to sh*t.

So my theory is that if I don’t make a plan things might just work out for me. I may just sort my life out and grow up. This doesn’t mean I’m giving up on my photo-journalism dream or I’ll stop making the most of what I’ve got. I’m just not making a plan on how I should get there.

So roll on 2013… I’m strapped in, ready for the ride.